Good-bye 2007, and Take Your Little Plates and Locavores with You.

Everywhere you look in the media are round-ups of the best and the worst of 2007. Food writers are no exception and over the past week or so we’ve been inundated with Top 10s, predictions, best recipes for the year and more.

Being the crank that I am, here is my list of the Top 5 things from 2007 that I officially deem to be over.

5. Fois gras. Issues of inhumane treatment of geese and ducks aside, I just can’t get into fois gras. I’ve tried, really I have. But it will forever remind me of eating liver-flavoured Crisco shortening. In fact, as disgusting as the concept may be, I think I’d actually prefer to have to eat a gob of plain Crisco.

4. Teeny tiny burgers. 2007 seems to be the year Toronto discovered White Castle without actually having one in our city. The slider hamburger showed up at almost every foodie event I attended this year. Yes, they’re cute. No, I don’t want one.

3. Small plates, big bucks. I am tired of everything with a whiff of tapas, unless it’s actually Spanish in origin. The small plates trend has always seemed like a skeezy way for restaurants to charge entree prices for appetizer-sized portions. Enough, I say. Lower those prices or add some more food to the plate.

2. The egos of food writers. Yes, many people read and respect (or not) local food writers and restaurant critics. Some may even base their decision on where to eat from a particular review. But Toronto restaurant critics need to remember that they don’t write for the New York Times, and that their word is not Godlike. They are not personally responsible for long line-ups or a place shutting down.

1. Local food for local people. I’ve ranted about this throughout the year, but I’ll say it once again – you’re not following the 100-mile diet if you’re sucking back a goddamned cup of coffee every morning. Stop trying to make yourself sound cool, green and ethical and just accept the fact that our society is built on the premise of imported goods. Yes, support local farmers (I am still boggled by the fact that this is a NEW concept to people), but don’t get bent out of shape because you need cinnamon.

Wait – a bonus entry – Designer Kitchens. I’ve read recently that the hot new appliances for 2008 are – get this – white!! I still believe that stainless steel will be the avocado of this decade, and years from now we’ll all look back at the fingerprinty stoves, stained granite counters and unused 6-burner gas ranges and shake our heads in awe at our greed and insecurity. If 2008 brings us nothing else, please let it be the year people come to their senses and move to sensible, functional kitchens.