Hearts and Flowers

Greg came home with the very best Valentine’s Day gift ever. It wasn’t roses, or chocolates or tacky lingerie. It was a recount of a cell phone conversation he overheard on the streetcar on his way home.

The woman seated in front of him dialed up what was obviously her live-in boyfriend. And went about dropping hints left, right and centre, mentioning Valentine’s Day several times and even specifically asking her spouse to “pick up some flowers on the way home for dinner”.

Except that hubby was either dense, not into the Valentine’s game or was really just not that into her, because, as Greg recounted, her next statement was, “Oh. You’re going to the bar.”

There was some more mentions of picking up some flowers (hint, hint, hint), and finally, a “Have fun at the bar!” which no doubt was uttered with the most guilt-inducing tone she could muster. Greg also indicates that he was able to hear the line disconnect just as the woman said “I love you,” in a sad, tiny voice.

So what have we learned from this?

1. Valentine’s Day is lame, stupid and hurtful.

2. For the love of God people, stop having your pitiful private cell phone conversations in public places.

We caught another glimpse of V-Day guilt this morning. As we were heading out to walk the dogs around six-thirty, a guy was coming into the building with a cardboard tray holding two cups of coffee and some pastries from the nearby coffee chain. He was also carrying one single red rose, wrapped in cellophane and undoubtedly grabbed from the convenience store on the corner.

We shot each other a look when we were out of hearing range. “How much shit do you think he got in last night?” Greg asked. “Enough to put him in the dog house and make him beg for forgiveness today,” was my reply.

Yeah, Valentine’s Day. A wonderful opportunity to show the person you love how much you care for them – or – make them feel like complete and utter shite.