We Wish You a Merry Chris-Mask

Five months, two weeks, three days… Louis Prima would have been Covid-ready, singing his way through this mess, Keely Smith by his side. Because how the projected time frame for this thing has chanced since March.

Now, a reasonable person would have been skeptical back then when our governments told us it would all be over in three weeks. We knew then, even if we were being told different, that this thing would take months to get under control.

And when the timeline extended to months, we all went, yeah, we knew that, and figured (optimistically) that it would be done by Christmas.

But now we’re looking at maybe (MAYBE) having a viable vaccine ready by the end of the year and MAYBE getting it rolled out to the most in need by next spring, and if you’re otherwise healthy and safe and not a first responder, then don’t count on having a needle in  your arm before next summer. Or maybe even longer. Seriously.

Government medical advisors are now saying it will be two to three YEARS before this is all done and life is back to “normal” although normal then will be nothing like the normal we left behind in February 2020.

And let’s be clear, however your particular region classifies things; stages, phases, etc.; this is as good as it gets, right now, with cases at their lowest since this began (well, here in Ontario, anyway). Distancing, handwashing, masks… until there’s a vaccine, we can only go backwards and forwards, in and out of stricter lockdown, depending on outbreaks and recoveries.

If you weren’t already suffering Covid-provoked anxiety, I bet that will do the trick.

Maybe this is not a bother. People who are masking up, going out shopping, to restaurants, etc., are maybe only feeling the “minor” inconvenience of wearing a mask, with everything else reasonably close to normal.

As someone who is unable to wear a mask due to a medical condition, the mask bylaws have already made my life stupid complicated, and I’m not at all pleased at the prospect of still being under (self-imposed) lockdown for years. I can get around not being able to go into a store, but eventually I’ll need to visit the eye doctor or the dentist.

And if you thought things would be back to normal by Christmas, think again. In fact, if there’s another wave, it will happen at Christmas, as the Covid fatigue gets even worse and people ignore the rules to gather with family, even though they’re not supposed to (as demonstrated by outbreak blips after other holidays such as Mother’s Day, Victoria Day, etc).

If those thoughts are a bummer, let me leave this post on a cheery — or at least amusing — note… 75 years from now, a group of kids dig through Grandma’s attic and find an old box of Christmas decorations, which includes a collection of Christmas-themed face masks from 2020; Santa Claus, an elf, maybe a reindeer, jingly bells, definitely one that lights up… and are completely boggled that such things exist. Believe it, I’ve already found a few via a Google search. There will be tacky holiday-themed face masks. Even a worldwide pandemic won’t get in the way of festive tat.

See, even in all of this mess, there’s still some small things to look forward to.