I made this! Come check it out – free admission, 30 amazing artisans, live performances by violinist Isaac Eng, and a meet and greet with Toronto mayoral candidate Olivia Chow. Plus everyone through the door gets a 2-for-1 pass for our Fall Fashion Festival.
First, some background – I am a fat lady. I am okay with being a fat lady, but like everyone, I need clothing. I am lucky in that I work from home, so I can spend my days in cheap yoga pants and t-shirts, and don’t need a lot of “work clothes”. I’m also lucky in that I sew reasonably well, and make about half of the clothing that I do need for functions outside of the house.
Occasionally, though, I need to buy an item of clothing from a store. And Toronto has a mere 17 places where a woman wearing plus sizes can do that. Ruling out the ones that are beyond my budget, or that cater to certain demographics (office wear, club wear), the number of places I have to choose from is very small. Which is why I do, occasionally, much against my will, end up at Addition Elle.
I don’t have an issue with the clothes at Addition Elle. They’re decently made, decently priced, and for the most part, are on trend. (As an old punk lady, this isn’t something that appeals to me personally, but for the majority of people, that would be a positive thing.) But I will do my damndest to avoid going into an Addition Elle store.
This wasn’t always the case, but in the past year or so, the chain has started a practice of asking a customer’s name as they are escorted to a change room. The customer’s name is then written on a small chalk board on the door of the change room, and the salespeople all make a point of addressing each customer by name… frequently.
A selection of frozen cupcakes, most with cute and reasonable names until we got to… Cheat Day Chocolate Cupcakes.
I know, it’s supposed to be cute. Funny, even. It’s supposed to play into the idea that these are so good, they’re worth cheating on your diet for.
My issue is more the assumption that you’re on a diet.
Because. We’re. All. Supposed. To. Be. Always. On. A. Diet.
And therefore, if you are eating a stupid cupcake, then you must be cheating. Because “good” dieters don’t eat chocolate. Or cake. It’s too decadent, sinful, etc. etc. etc.
A “good” fatty, hell a “good” woman, must at least demonstrate some level of guilt and remorse when eating a bit of cake or chocolate (Or both!!). To fail to do so means that you’re just not making the effort. To fail to do so means that you might not have been sufficiently brainwashed by the $60 billion diet industry and might be so audacious as to have some remaining self esteem that isn’t totally tied into making you feel like shit about yourself so you will buy more crap – more diet drugs, more make-up, more clothing, more cupcakes… in the misplaced hope that this will be the thing that does the trick and makes you love yourself.
Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time
Harper Collins 2014, 353 pages
Busy? Aren’t we all, right? Or maybe… we just think we are.
Time management is a skill that very few people are taught as kids, so as adults, we take on more and more responsibilities and succumb to what author Brigid Schulte calls “the overwhelm” only to find ourselves desperately stressed and unhappy.
In Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time, Schulte talks to time management experts from around the world to try to discover what has happened to the average person’s leisure time, and why so many people join the rat race of gender-determined career paths in industries that value bums in chairs and daily face to face interactions instead of the myriad options that are available to us in the 21st century, such as working from home, job sharing and flexible working hours.
This is of particular importance when it comes to families where the “ideal worker” has priorities other than their job, and where kids can have a schedule as packed as their parents.
Schulte ultimately offers no solutions to the problem at hand. She’s learning as she goes, and experiences a fair bit of culture shock observing Danish families where kids are expected to help around the house and everyone is home for family dinner. The Danes have carefully avoided the helicopter parenting so prevalent in North America and it becomes obvious that anybody wanting to fight off the overwhelm might first have to have the nerve to buck the status quo.
I first met Steven Davey, restaurant critic for NOW magazine, more than 10 years ago. I was running a monthly dining group called Gothic Diners in which Toronto Goths gathered for dinner at local restaurants, usually in all their black finery. Davey heard about our group through a friend of a friend and invited Greg and I, along with our friend Siobhan, to join him for dinner. He took us to the newly opened vegetarian restaurant Fressen, because it tickled his fancy to take a bunch of Goths (and our supposed vampire-inspired blood lust) to the one place where there would be no meat.
We hit it off and I soon found myself in “the rotation” – a group of Steven’s friends and acquaintances who were restaurant-positive, and who he would invite to join him for restaurant visits when he was doing reviews. That is, we liked dining out, enjoyed trying new things and could follow his detailed directions on what to order and how not to blow his cover.
He would book reservations under a false name, usually “Frank”, but on occasion he’d forget, and I’d find myself at a hostess stand, perplexed. No “Frank”. Or else I’d be seated, and watch him across the room, listing off the various names he might have used to book the reservation. One night I ran into him in line at the Drake’s BBQ take-out shop, and stood in line yelling “Hi Frank!” repeatedly until I had to walk up to him and poke him.
Since I stopped writing for the Toronto Star, the number of emails from PR people flooding my inbox has dried to a trickle. It helped that I deleted my TasteTO email address completely so the PRs who just refused to remove me from their mailing lists just got bounces. A few somehow made it to my personal email account but for the most part, I am delighted that I no longer get inundated with junk about birthday cake flavoured vodka, cheez whiz or chain restaurants anymore.
So imagine my surprise when I get an email pitching “content suggestions” for a “fat fashion” article.
Now… I am fat. And I wear clothes. And I think I am stylish. But I don’t write about plus size fashion. And as Adam Ant says, “We don’t follow fashion, that would be a joke.” I have almost zero interest in mainstream fashion. Nada. I am a cranky old Goth. I don’t want to look like everyone else at the maul. I certainly wouldn’t be caught dead in any of the “5 Pieces That Will Carry Your Spring Wardrobe” suggestions the PR sent to me, hoping that I would write a piece on this blog about the company he represented.
And so, because I haven’t gotten to be mean to a stupid PR in a long time, I might have torn him a new one. (Just, you know, to stay in practice.) Note that – as far as I am a aware, there is no link from the site Fat Chic to my blog, nor vice versa. I’m not even sure how he found me.
Hi there, I wanted to reach out to you with a suggestion for content on your site: [URL of online plus size store redacted]
We have teamed up with Plus-Size clothing store [redacted] on an illustrated guide to wardrobe staples and, after seeing your link from Fat Chic, I thought your readers might enjoy this post.
If you decide to share, please feel free to use any of the imagery with a link back to the source (there is an embed code at the bottom), and I can send visitors your way as a thank-you if you are interested!
I mean, come on… “reach out”. How can you NOT reply to that with anything but this…
Hi [name redacted],
I am confused by your email. I don’t really write about plus size fashion.
More than that, I don’t write about mainstream plus size fashion. I am an old Goth – the “suggestions” in the link are a list of things I would never be caught dead in – a denim shirt? Really? Like a garage mechanic? Does it come with an embroidered nametag? And a free wrench?
If [business name redacted] wants to send me a selection of products to review I am happy to arrange that, providing that I get to choose the items. Alternatively, if [business name redacted] would like to hire me to produce copy for their website or promotions, I am also happy to consider that and can forward my freelance rate sheet to the appropriate person.
But I am not interested in “suggestions for content on my site”. This is a skeezy way of scoring free publicity by expecting bloggers to write about your products for free and it was gross and sleazy 5 years ago. ALL marketers and PRs should know better than to try and pull this crap nowadays.
Also – stop reaching out. That’s a tired, stupid, and cliched phrase. You CONTACTED me. Just say contact, it’s way less douchey.
PS – a free tip from a writer who has seen every boneheaded PR/marketing trick in the book – if you’re going to “cold call” bloggers, please spend some time reading their sites to ensure it’s a good fit. This is just sad.
Related: Articles I WOULD write about summer fashion:
- Five fabulous paper parasols
- The Sun, It Burns – a guide to sunscreens with SPF 50 or higher
- Keeping Your Blacks Their Blackest – How to Combat Fading
- Your Feet are Dirty and Ugly and Gross – Why I’m About to Make You Eat Your Stupid Fucking FlipFlops
- Why Fat, Old Goths Are More Stylish than the Average Fashionista
Chocolate inspired by Jackson Pollack? These beautiful pieces of edible art are from Unelefante in Mexico. [Via KNSTRCT]
Can’t keep track of your best lasagna recipe? How about this one that’s printed on the pasta? [Via BoingBoing]
The story of Sweeney Todd the barber and the little pie shop next door is just fiction… or is it? In the 1380s, Paris had an evil barber/butcher combo that were brought to justice because of a dog waiting for its missing master. [Via Messy Nessy Chic]
The sweetness of death… skulls, candy and flowers by Cristina Burns. [Via Dangerous Minds]
Before that Surreal Gourmet guy, there was the real surreal gourmet. Salvador Dali’s very rare cookbook. [Via BrainPickings]
More skulls and sugar, this time for your coffee – sugar skull spoons. [Via This Is Colossal]
I’m still sorting out my thoughts about the Advanced Style documentary I saw on Saturday as part of the Hot Docs festival. Based on the incredibly successful blog and book by photographer Ari Seth Cohen, the film introduces us to a number of Cohen’s regular muses/models; a collection of stylish, creative women who have stood their ground in the face of society’s patronizing attitudes towards older people, and have refused to go to a quiet, beige place and crochet doilies.
Each of the women has their own style and their own story, but nothing feels especially in-depth. I learned more about each of the stylish women by reading an article in The Guardian than I did from the film, and instead of focusing on their personal style – how it developed, how they put together outfits, how they manage on budgets, etc., the film instead centres around the growth and popularity of the blog. We follow Cohen and the ladies to Los Angeles where they appear on the Ricki Lake show, and we see a couple of the women model for a Lanvin ad campaign. Throughout it all, there’s an odd undertone of… cattiness. These ladies are not friends, they come from different walks of life, are different ages (ranging from mid-60s to mid-90s) and have been brought together only by their shared interest in Cohen and his project. There’s a weird feeling of competition that is uncomfortable coming from a piece of work (and a group of people) that is supposed to be celebrating diversity, creativity and really, self-esteem.
Do you eat out by yourself? If so, do you differentiate in terms of where? For instance, I have no problem eating in a fast food restaurant, cafeteria or food court by myself, but am uncomfortable eating alone in a higher-end establishment. And as much as it’s nice to eat at the bar and maybe chat to the bartender, as a middle-aged woman, there’s too much of an “on the prowl” stigma going on that I’d rather not deal with.
Two different options are now available to single diners.In Amsterdam, a restaurant called Eenmaal offers a room full of tables that only seat one. While in Japan, the Moomin Cafe chain (associated with the popular animated character) seats a large stuffed toy across from patrons dining alone.
Neither is ideal, but Eenmaal’s focus on the experience (no wifi) and the food, seems to have the best of intentions, allowing the diner to revel in the solitude, whereas at Moomin, well, you’ve got to be okay with a tophat-wearing hippo-thingie as your tablemate. Which I would find hilarious but others might just consider silly. Perhaps I’d be more inclined to try Eenmaal if the tables didn’t look so very much like desks in a Junior High basement detention room.
You know the deal – you WANT to like classical music. You know you should learn more about classical music, but its all just so… classical. The stiffness, the formality… boring.
Salut Salon is an all-female quartet from Hamburg that makes classical music fun, intermixing traditional chamber music with pop and jazz, and throwing fun poses and postures, as would be typical in a rock performance, into their routine.
They’ve been together in various formations (2 core members, violinists and founders of the quartet Angelika Bachmann and Iris Siegfried plus various cellists and pianists), for over 12 years.
They’ve toured extensively, including Canada, but the upcoming year sees them mostly focused on Germany. But check out the video and then even more of their performances on YouTube – they’re absolutely marvellous.
The installations of floral artist Rebecca Louise Law require a lot of patience and absolutely no fear of heights. Law has done a variety of work for companies such as Jimmy Choo, Max Mara and others, and most of her work involves suspending individual flowers from very high ceilings. Amazingly beautiful, particularly the cathedral installations. [Via This Is Colossal]
You know when you bite into a persimmon and it makes your mouth all “sweatery”? Here’s betting that all of the food created by artist Jessica Dance does that as well. Dance works in set design and in collaboration with food photographer David Sykes has created a series of pieces reminiscent of classic meals including a full English breakfast and Christmas dinner. [Via This Is Colossal]
How is it that Paris, regardless of the image in the photo, always looks so romantic and intriguing? Now, get a daily dose of old French flavour with Charmade – Vintage French Photos, a Tumblr full of rare vintage French photos. [Via Messy Nessy Chic]
We’re doing it again, this time with no blizzard. More than 50 authors, comic artists, zinesters, poets and paper goods creators take over the main floor of the Gladstone Hotel for a celebration of small press and indie publishing. Of course, I’ll also have a table of Stained Pages Press titles.
A percentage of admission totals at the door will be donated to The Children’s Book Bank.
Yes, another post where I blather on about neglecting poor old blog. This place never gets any love. I should change that, I know, but in the meantime, my energies have been elsewhere. Specifically, putting together the super cool Toronto Indie Arts Market.
And even better – the Spring Fashion Extravaganza event on March 15th that features 50 local artisans, designers and makers of beautiful clothing, jewellery and accessories.
If you’re in Toronto, please come check it out. It’s been a long winter and we all need a little something pretty and sparkly to make us hopeful that Spring will come soon.
Also, we’re donating 40% of the admission sales to The Corsage Project – an amazing organization that puts together prom outfits for under-privileged teens.
Go check out the TIAM website for a full list of participants. Plus, members of our mailing list will have a chance to win passes.
They’re our earliest interaction with the written word – the letters of the alphabet are the building blocks of language, knowledge and self. And while graphic designers have created many lovely and interesting font sets over the centuries, these two sets of alphabets go one step further.
In Bologna, in 1839, the decorative artist Antonio Basoli published his Alfabeto Pittorico, ossia raccolta di pensieri pittorici composti di oggetti comincianti dalle singole lettere alfabetiche (‘Pictorial Alphabet, or, a collection of pictorial thoughts composed of objects beginning with the individual letters of the alphabet’). This was an album of twenty-five elaborate lithographs, each one featuring an alphabetical character cast in some fantastic architectural form, in a setting contrived to illustrate any number of figures and objects for which there were Italian words beginning with that same letter. A commentary in Italian and French explained the contents of the plates. Below are details from the lithographs representing the five vowels from this alphabet (plus one other additional image), scanned from a reproduction of the Alfabeto Pittorico issued in 1998 by Ravensburger, with translations of Basoli’s text into German and English, and with additional commentary and notes by Joseph Kiermeier-Debre and Fritz Franz Vogel. [spamula.net]
And for an alphabet with a sense of whimsy, look no further than this set of carved crayons by Diem Chau, with matching animals native to the Pacific Northwest.These are gorgeous, and quite brilliant. With everything from vesper bats to killer whales, these Crayolas are not for colouring with but for admiring with awe.
If I haven’t been around the old blog much lately, it’s because I’ve been working on other stuff – most notably, the first issue of Beer and Butter Tarts, a Canadian literary food journal, which features work by writers and artists from right across Canada.
If you’re in the Toronto-area, please check out the details below and come on by. Otherwise, copies are available by mail-order from Stained Pages Press.
We’re having a party to celebrate the launch of our first issue!
Tuesday, January 28th, 2014, 7pm
The Rhino Restaurant & Bar (skylight room)
1249 Queen Street West
Tasty nibbles, fab beer, plus selected readings from the first issue by contributors Dorianne Emmerton, David Huebert and others.
Copies of Issue #1 will be available for purchase.
Please join us!
Yes, I’m trying this again. Shut up and enjoy the links.
I’m a little disappointed that I didn’t get this for Christmas, but I’m sure it was just an oversight. Hubby’s probably just saving up for it. Or trying to figure out where, at 4ft across, we’d put it. This one-of-a-kind piece by Mason Creations is sold, but there’s always next year.
If you didn’t already think Vincent Price was awesome, here’s another reason – he wrote a book about his dog! Illustrated by Hirshfield, of course.Via Dangerous Minds.
Olde Tyme high school yearbooks, just as boring as current ones, except for all that hair! Via Twisted Sifter
Ditch that whole idea of standing on your bathroom scale and feeling bad about yourself this new year. Instead – get all “Office Space” on that tyrannical appliance and savour the freedom behind the idea that numbers are meaningless. Via The Militant Baker
Steampunk? We’ve got your steampunk right here, Buddy. The beautiful nature sculptures of Edouard Martinet, made from spare parts. Via Dangerous Minds