Detox Day 1 – I Dream of Cupcakes

So I turned myself into a human guinea pig and decided to go on a two-week detox diet. This was in part out of writer’s curiosity and because it would make a good topic over on FitFare, the blog that I edit and write for, but as those of you who know me IRL are aware, it’s been a damn stressful few months and I’ve been eating crap, and I just wanted a week or two to allow the crap to work its way out of my system.

So far, so good. Mind you, it’s only mid-afternoon and already I’m getting sick of brown rice. And I’ve already cheated. It’s a small technicality, because I planned to cut out processed soy products (faux sausage, ground round, soy cheese, etc), but I used soy milk to make rice pudding this morning for breakfast. I’m also not exactly sure how I’m going to live without wheat for two weeks. Flour, bread; the staff of life, yo! It’s really going to kill me to be without bread. I’ve got brown rice flour, and kamut and spelt flour (again with the cheating, as both as related to wheat), and I’ve got millet, quinoa, and oats, and well as kamut and quinoa pasta – but I just know I’m going to break down and scream for bread by Day 4. There’s also a beer geek gathering at a local pub scheduled for Thursday night. I don’t suppose one beer will kill me, but it sort of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?

I also didn’t account for Easter. Not that we do much of anything to celebrate at all, being the heathens that we are, but Easter is all about chocolate and jellybeans and peeps and…

I am going to go eat an apple now and down a pint of water to fill the empty rumbly space in my belly. And maybe make some date and coconut balls so I have something to quiet my frantic screaming sweet tooth which is currently intent on reminding me that it’s almost tea time and wouldn’t a nice cup of Earl Grey with sugar and a plate of lovely cookies be more enjoyable than the caffeine-free green tea and fruit that I have planned.

I’ll be posting menus at the end of each day if you care to pop back for a look at my battle with my own self-control.